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Uxbridge English Dictionary


P



Paint
Vulgar version of "Pisn't" s58e06
Palisade
What the Queen drinks s44e02
Palmistry
Not knowing who your Dad is s49e06
Panache
The dying embers of a play on words s71e04
Pancreas
A gland located next to Kings Cross s45e01
Pandemonium
A musical instrument that won't breed in captivity s41e05 s43e06
Panting - 1
Bunting made from knickers s67e02
Panting - 2
Jamaican cooking receptacle s61e06 s66e06
Pantomime
Underwear for the hard of hearing s51e04 s52e06 s53e02
Pantry
What pants grow on s63e06
Parabolic
The effect of a too-tight parachute harness s61e06
Paraffin
A kind of dolphin that jumps out of aeroplanes s50e04
Parapet
Airborne cat s47e04
Parasites
What you can see from the top of the Eiffel Tower s57e02
Parental
You never actually own the fruit s52e02
Parity
A bit like a parrot s71e06
Parsley
A bit like a parcel s63e02
Parsnip
Dad's vasectomy s38esp3
Pasta
Italian priest s50eSP2
Pasteurise
Right inside your head s51e04
Pastiche
What Sean Connery eats in Cornwall s49e03 s56e02
Pastoral
Too old for foreplay s52e06 s53e06 s54e06
Pastrami
The art of meat folding s66e02
Papal
Scunthorpe s71e02
Paucity
The Vatican's system of donating online s61e02
Pavlovian
Like a Russian ballerina who made a kind of meringue out of dog saliva s69e06
Pea Soup
Worrying medical condition s46e05
Peanut Butter
Very worrying medical condition s46e05
Peanuts
Far worse than kidney stones s54e02
Peccadillo
An armour plated condom s50e04
Peckish
Rather like Gregory Peck s56e04
Pendulous
When you can put a pen under it and it stays there s44e02
Penile
Caught short in Egypt s57e04
Pensive
Something you can write with while draining the potatoes s60e04
Pentecost
The price of posh underwear s59e04 s61e02
Pepperami
What Sergeant Pepper served in s59e02
Pepperpot
A pot belonging to one who stutters s46e05
Percussion
How Scottish soft furnishers are paid s63e06
Pergola
Someone who steals a garden trellis s69e04
Permeate
A curly-haired rowing crew s64e02
Permit
A glove made from cat fur s61e04 s52e02
Perms
Geordie poetry s69e06
Perpetuate
How Korean restaurants get paid s61e06 s66e06
Perspire
How a steeplejack charges s61e06 s65e06
Perth
Where Chris Eubank keeps his cash s65e04
Peruse
The place Paddington Bear came from s59e06
Perverse
How poets get paid s57e06 s61e06
Perversion
The cat's side of the story s54e06
Pesto
Insecticide gravy browning s52e04
Petulance
A vehicle that takes cats and dogs to hospital s61e04
Philander - 1
The Duke of Edinburgh and the Queen s45e05
Philander - 2
Mr and Mrs Jupitus s51e06
Philharmonic
To feed the Queen s45esp1
Philibuster
Horse-seeking missile s66e06
Philistine
What a German barmaid does s65e04
Phillipino
Brian Eno's brother s57e02 s68e04
Phlegmatic
Battery operated handkerchief s51e04 s53e06
Physique
A Perrier enema s41e05
Piano
A musical shipping line s40e02
Picador
"Find your own way out" s39e06
Piccaninny - 1
The FA selection process for choosing the England manager s50e06
Piccaninny - 1
The voting procedure for a new Tory leader s40e02
Picnic - 1
The battle cry of the Liberal Democrats s59e02
Picnic - 2
A bogie thief s70e04
Picturesque
Like a jug s58e04
Pie crust
What you get if you don't polish your pike s48e02
Pigsticking
Clockwork pork s50e02
Pile Driver
Suppository s38e01
Pillage
A pharmaceutically dependant village s53e06
Pinafore - 1
A method of signalling with aprons s59e06
Pinafore - 2
Half a football result s57e02
Piper
What Australians write on s62e06
Pistacchio - 1
Facial hair grown while drunk s45e05 s59e02
Pistacchio - 2
To draw a moustache on a poster when under the influence of drink s41e05
Piston
Humiliated s38e06 s42e05
Pith Helmet
"Thorry, it wath an emergenthy" s60e04
Pitter Patter
Someone who slaps Greek bread s56e06
Pity
A bit like a pit s63e06
Placebo - 1
The Marx brother who was fired because people only thought he was good s50e06
Placebo - 2
A Spanish tenor who does nothing for me s38esp3
Placenta
Japanese TV host s48e04
Plainsong
E Viva Espana on landing s55e04
Planet
What should have happened with Brexit s71e02
Plank
Chinese practical joke s51e06
Plankton
A large quantity of wood s69e04
Platypus
Give your cat pigtails s45e01
Plebiscite
Web page for common people s41e04
Plinth
Artist formerly known as having two speech defects s42e02
Plonker
Even cheaper wine s59e02
Pokemon
A Jamaican proctologist s40e04
Pokemon - 1
What you do on Scottish Facebook s68e02
Pokemon - 2
Jamaican proctologist s64e02
Pokemon Go
Randy Scotsman s66e04
Polaroids
Painful condition from sitting on icebergs s45esp1 s57e06
Politician
Famous Italian painting of a parrot s42e02 s64e06
Polygamist
Two-timing parrot s42e02
Polygamy
The ancient art of wife folding s58e02
Polygon
Missing parrot s42e02
Polymer
One of the gifts to baby Jesus from the Three Wise Parrots s71e06
Polynesia
Memory loss amongst parrots s70e04
Polypropylene
"That parrot's terribly thin" s63e04
Polyunsaturated
A dry parrot s40e04 s42e02
Pom-pom
Australian word for English twins s40e04
Ponder
More like a pond s66e06
Ponderous
Shop that sells ponds s46e05
Pontificate
A lecture on French bridges s40e06
Poppadom
A contraceptive made from bubble wrap s63e02
Poppycock
A streaker on November 11th s41e05
Porcupine
To regret becoming a vegetarian s43e06
Portent - 1
Cheap camping equipment s68e06
Portent - 2
The Millennium Dome s38esp3
Portly
Shaped like a harbour s41e04
Posthumous
The act of delivering Greek food by mail s38e04
Postulate
The new name for Royal Mail s44e02
Potpourri
Aroma of dried Teletubby s62e02 s65e06
Pre Raphaelite
One who leaves before the raffle s42e05
Preach
A soft fruit with a speech defect s40e06
Precipice
Push-button toilet s47e04
Precipitate
An art gallery on a cliff s57e06
Precursor
One who swears in advance s67e02
Prehensile
An island formerly occupied by chickens s51e06
Preoccupied
Poland in the 1930s s70e02
Pretext
Letters and phonecalls s53e02 s55e04
Prickly
Rather like George Galloway s50e04
Prima Donna
Guy Ritchie's bachelor days s58eSP1
Primark
The first coat of paint applied by Noah s66e04
Problematic
Disastrous loft conversion s42e02 s47e02
Profiteering
Controversial piece of jewellery in the shape of Mohammed s50e06
Program
"I so absolutely don't do pounds and ounces" s55e06
Prolapse
In favour of having your dinner in front of the telly s47e02
Proletarian
Someone who only eats common people s42e02
Propaganda - 1
A good look s45e01
Propaganda - 2
A post for one-legged male geese s37e05
Propagate
Rather respectable scandal s58e04
Propane
People who are into S&M s37e05
Property
A lovely cuppa s62e04
Psychedelia
Mental cook s53e02
Psychiatric
Guessing right three times in a row s37e05
Psychological
Something that makes sense on a bike s48e04
Psychopath
Crazy paving s44e02
Pubescent
Intimate deodorant s47e02
Pulpit - 1
What to do with a Jeffrey Archer novel s47e06
Pulpit - 2
Warren Beatty's bed s43e04
Pumpkin
Incest s67e02
Punish
Not quite a play on words s50e04 s64e06
Puny
The religious equivalent of tennis elbow s51e01
Purchase
What budgies sit on s62e04 s69e02
Purgatory
To slip Ex-Lax into Michael Gove's coffee s60e02
Push
What Sean Connery calls his cat s54e06
Pustulent
Festive boil that lasts till Easter s71e06
Putin
Inexpensive bedpan s64e04
Pygmy
"I'll have the pork" s64e06
Pyromaniac
One who collects glass baking dishes s58e06